After a refreshing session of Tennis with father dearest (Who fought through his carpel tunnel and shoulder problems to provide a decent first outing), I came home to drink some Kool-Aid, rest and relax from a hard evening’s work on the courts. I decided to check my blog stats, as I usually do, and found that there was a most intriguing Google Search that came to the Myles Files.

“tantallon serial killer”

Needless to say, I’m a little bit alarmed at this. First of all, I was unaware that there was a serial killer like right down the road, and will surely tread more carefully in the future. Plus, I know people from Tantallon: a word of warning goes out to them that they might want to avoid dark alleyways in the future. However, most importantly, this terrifies me for one specific reason:

It proves my mother right.

When I posted my feature on my playtime with Resident Evil 4 (Which is currently on the backburner while I play Mario Strikers: Charged! online), I talked about how it was warping my sensibilities, and that I was almost enjoying the gory sensation it offered. My mother was alarmed by the article not because I was playing an M-rated game, but rather that one day I would be in the vicinity of some sort of horrible crime, be investigated by the police, they would discover that blog post, and I would immediately become a prime suspect in the investigation.

I, of course, laughed this off: it’s satire, after all, and my tongue could not be further planted within my cheek. And yet, I’m alarmed to find that someone actually did get to my blog by searching for a serial killer. In reality, the person arrived at my File #3 Category Archives via my mention of Tantallon in my Harry Potter LiveBlog and via my discussion of literary vigilante serial killer Dexter Morgan in my Post about Darkly Dreaming Dexter.

But I remain concerned: the power of Google could be too much to bear, and my blog may soon skyrocket up to being the #1 authority for news of the Tantallon Serial Killer. And then…well, I’ll use my first phone call to talk to my mother, and hope that she won’t just say “I told you so” and leave me on the cold cement floor wishing I had never played that dastardly video game.

[P.S. I’m only kidding, Mom. Also, has anyone ACTUALLY heard about a Tantallon serial killer? Because that’s really alarming for me, and I think I would have heard about it.]