[The Myles Report is, well, a report about Myles. That’s basically it.]

Wednesday afternoon, I officially became an orphan…temporary orphan, of course, this isn’t some sort of tragic tale. Of course, if your idea of tragic is facing new responsibilities like pet care and dishes, then this is downright Greek in its very nature. The rents, it seems, decided to jet off to Las Vegas for some mid-summer fun.

I am sure they are currently enjoying their weather, which the U.S. Meteorological Service believes is “Hot”. Not Sunny, not clear, but “Hot”. Needless to say, there is very little rain in the forecast in Nevada. And while they are likely off gambling away my tuition money (I’m kidding. You know that, I know, but my mother doesn’t like jokes very much), I’m at home with an entire house to manage.

Thus far? Not so much with the managing. Well, okay, that’s a lie: the pets are being fed, the dog is being taken out, the water bowls are being filled, and I will be watering the plants this afternoon. The doors have remained locked, and I am not yet living in squalor. I’m even going to do dishes this afternoon.

But it’s a lot of responsibility, and has resulted in earlier mornings and later nights, things that are not the best combination. Mind you, I am not assisting this too greatly considering that I went downtown last night to catch a screening of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix at Park Lane with the Elder.
[For my full review of the film, check out Cultural Learnings.]

As for the experience itself, it was fairly good. Hoping to both save the environment and not have to park downtown, I drove into Sackville and took the MetroLink into the city. This resulted in me being the only person on the bus, which meant that I basically had my own chauffered transit bus.

As the Elder and I walked to Park Lane, I thought back to the last time I had been to Halifax’s downtown mall theatre. The answer was in December of 1994. My mother took us downtown to meet my father, and then we went to Park Lane to try to see Star Trek: Generations. It was, however, sold out, so we saw The Santa Clause instead. Therefore, it had been 13 years since I had been to this particular theatre. Last time it had cruddy popcorn.

This time, it was quite nice: comfy seats and everything. I also have to give a shoutout to the audience for being quite a good one: minimal talking is a plus. Major props go out to the parents of the very small child; while you probably shouldn’t have taken your near-infant to a rather scary film, the fact that you took them out of the theatre when they were crying shows that you’ve got some level of class.

But that was yesterday. Today, I’m at work briefly to get the counts in, and then it’s back home in the afternoon for perhaps some outdoor chores (Plus the cat is probably crying to go outside even when I’m not there) and some preparations for this evening’s White Stripes concert. Which is going to involve parking downtown, which should be very interesting. But, we’ll see. Now, it’s time for Myles Trivia!

Question: How many times has Myles ever parallel parked successfully?

A: Once. It was a complete fluke, and 7 pedestrians were sent to hospital.

B: Twice. The 2nd time reduced casualties to only 5 pedestrians and a mime.

C: Too many to count.

D: Never. He tried it twice during Young Drivers, failed miserably both times, and his instructor basically gave up on him. Since Nova Scotia’s license test doesn’t include parallel parking, he’s been able to skirt by ever since.

The Answer will have to wait until the next Myles Report.

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