I am outraged, absolutely outraged, at what is a far too common practice in the food service industry. When I order a Grilled Cheese sandwich, I am clearly not looking for something fancy. If I wanted fancy, I would have gone for something that isn’t an exact description of what it is: a grilled sandwich of cheese. It leaves nothing to the imagination, so I clearly am not looking to get experimental with my food.
However, that does not mean you should dress it up with some form of garnish. Specifically, some places seem intent on piling a couple of pickles onto the plate to turn it into something they can be proud of. Well, guess what: I hate pickles.
They’re disgusting, and vile, and just gross. They leak all over the place, spreading their venomous juices onto the bread. The result is that corners, valuable and succulent corners, are ruined on my sandwich.
And I’m fed up with it.
I am supporting a nationwide ban on unnecessary garnishes. While I know I am picky, I don’t think everyone who orders a Grilled Cheese wants pickles on their plate, especially if there is the possibility of cross-contamination. Pickles are not something like lettuce, which while annoying for me is basically harmless. They are a divisive food, one whose texture and taste can create issues for many patrons.Who will stand with me against these Gerkin Gerudos, these wannabe Emerils who think that I desire a pickle with my simple sandwich? Even if you like pickles, there’s no need to ruin sandwiches for the rest of us.
Who’s with me?
4 comments
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July 19, 2007 at 4:03 pm
Spencer Keys
Myles, you’re dead to me.
July 19, 2007 at 9:08 pm
uphillflow
…. I have to be honest, Myles, this is ridiculous. Garnish is such a critical requirement for the world. I don’t mind if people work above and beyond pickle, but there needs to be garnish. Im ashamed every time I serve a grilled cheese… even if that’s what they order.
July 19, 2007 at 9:30 pm
Myles
Toss a sprig of something on there, that’s garnish. Pickles? Not garnish. Same goes for Cucumbers or any other form of vegetable type thing.
A grilled cheese is nothing to be ashamed of, this view needs to be remedied.
July 24, 2007 at 2:50 pm
Gary Cooper
Grilled cheese is awesome! I eat about 3 a week. I can only assume that will sky rocket when I move out in September and must cook for myself. There is NOTHING impressive about a pickle thrown on a plate, especially with something as delicious as grilled cheese. You gave Grilled Cheese which is like a 10 on the awesomeness scale and presumable fries which are an 8 on the awesomeness scale. Now the chef thinks to himself, “How can I make this better? I know I’ll throw on a slice of pickle!”
Pickles are a -3 on the awesomeness scale and brought down the median on the meal by 5 points! Clearly this move was originally introduced to get rid of the disgusting specimens and to make the rest of the food taste better! In my experience most people eat the pickle first. I think rotten goat cheese would taste like Chicken McNuggets after a bite of pickle. All of the sudden this trail blazing chef doesn’t seem so dumb. Give them something disgusting so no matter what the rest of the food won’t taste that bad. Genius!
I got no problems with a bit or parsley, or a bit of lettuce and garish in general, but pickles have no place on my plate either. We stand united my friend!